The Voice Inside My Head
by battousai24
Summary: She ran. It didn't matter where she was going. She just needed to get away... far away. She ought to be in hell for all this. That was beyond sick and wrong. This was an abomination.


**The Voice Inside My Head  
**_by C. S. Raine (aka battousai24, tehcheshirecat)_

She ran. It didn't matter where she was going. She just needed to get away... _far away_. She could feel the sweat trickling down her face, some even stinging her eyes, but she had no time t o wipe them away. Her arms were busy swinging by her sides as her legs moved swiftly, each step much faster than the last. Her lungs felt like they were burning. Her breaths were deep, their rhythm rapid. She knew she had t o calm her breathing, or else her body would soon give out. She was already feeling light-headed. Her heart was threatening to burst from how hard it was pumping against her chest. Her legs were starting to grow weary. _How far had she run?_ She couldn't look back now to check, for fear of wanting to run back the way she came.

_Fear._ That was it, wasn't it? That crippling fear. That was what sent her running in the first place. She could feel the tears starting to well up in her eyes now, as thought started creeping in, but she blinked them away. She furrowed her brows, bit her lip and forced her legs to work harder. She needed to run faster, as fast as she could. She had to focus on how her feet practically bounced off the pavement from the force of her steps. She needed to keep her thought on running, just _running_, lest she'd remember.

'_**Elsa?'**_

_No._ She wouldn't let the memories in. She wouldn't allow these thoughts to corrupt her any further.

'_**Elsa, what's wrong?'**_

No, she wouldn't... she _couldn't _let that voice in her head. She _shouldn't._

'_**Elsa!'**_

_No, Anna, please. I need to get you out of my head!_

Elsa ran harder. She shut her eyes. She couldn't care less if she hit a brick wall right now. She needed to get her sister's voice out of her head. She needed to shut Anna out.

'_**Elsa...'**_ Again, it was Anna's voice... breathy, and barely a whisper. Elsa could imagine the expression on Anna's face. She remembered those half-lidded eyes looking back at her.

_No, I can't. I just can't. I need you out of my head, Anna. Please, go away. I need to get you out of my head... out of –_

'_**My heart belongs to you.'**_

Elsa's eyes shot open, as she felt her chest tighten. That was the moment her legs gave out. She fell onto the ground, wincing from the pain. She rolled onto her back, her hand clasped onto her chest, as if holding onto her heart. She hadn't noticed it before, but it was raining. She looked up at the almost starless sky, watching as the harsh droplets fell from the heavens, and felt them lightly pounding onto her face, her body, as if knocking on her very being, asking her to let them in.

'_**Why do you shut the world out?'**_

There came Anna's voice again. No matter how hard she tried to keep the memories out, to keep _Anna_ out, they always find their way in, much like how her sister always manages to come bursting through her locked doors. Elsa felt the wave of emotions crashing into her as memories started pouring in. She felt like she was suffocating, like she was _dying_. She might as well have, she thought bitterly. She ought to be in hell for all this.

'_**Please, let me in...'**_

She was already so obsessed with her sister, so much that she would hear Anna's voice echoing in her head. She was obviously sick in the head.

'_**Elsa...'**_ Again, she could imagine Anna, those mesmerizing teal eyes half-lidded staring into Elsa's own blue ones as their lips slowly came together for the first time.

She had _kissed_ her _sister_. Obviously, there was something very wrong with her. Elsa knew she needed to get up on her feet and start running again. She knew she shouldn't let the memories flow in so freely like this.

'_**Elsa...'**_Anna moaned. She could recall it so vividly.

Elsa's cheeks flushed as she remembered that particular memory, but shook her head furiously, half-ashamed and half-angry with herself for letting such impure thoughts in. She had made love to her _sister_. That was beyond sick and wrong. She shut her eyes forcefully, and gasped her head in a tight hold, as if wanting to crush her skull with her own hands.

'_**I love you, Elsa.'**_

She loved her sister. Not only that, she was also _in love_ with her. This was an abomination. She finally let the tears fall from her eyes. This was all kinds of messed up, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't control it. She wouldn't... not any longer. She loved Anna, and _damn it all to hell_, because Anna loved her too.

* * *

**AN:** _I wasn't planning on writing this little drabble. In fact, I was working on something else and just scribbling ideas on my notepad and then it just gained words and this is what I ended up with. I was also listening to 'Miss You' by Blink182 at the time, so that's where I got the title and pretty much the idea from. If you're also wondering why Elsa was running away, it's not really 'running away,' but more of just running and _trying _to get away. Years back, when I was feeling bad, I'd just go running. I'd ran as fast as I could, run wherever my feet would take me, and just keep doing so until I couldn't anymore. It helped me let out whatever conflicted feelings I had. It helped me clear my head. So... there. Anyway, thanks for reading!  
_


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